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Sorry, not sorry, if this article offends you.

I was recently at Fuddruckers and asked the woman in front of me if she’d already ordered. “Yes, sorry,” she replied. Sorry for what? I’m the one who should have noticed you holding the huge styrofoam cup with Fuddruckers’ logo on it. But this isn’t the exception. As women, we tend to apologize way too much and for things that don’t require an apology.

I’ve been shopping and have bumped into other women by accident, and before I can utter an “I’m sorry,” they apologize to me. That’s right. They apologize to me for my clumsiness or obliviousness – depending on the situation. (Sometimes I get so lost in my writer mind I’m too busy thinking of the next story that I don’t notice what’s in front of me.) Regardless, there is something wrong with someone apologizing when they’re not in the wrong.

Then there’s the times that we, as women, freely state our opinion and then apologize for doing such. For example, “Sorry, but I think this would work better this way.” We have an opinion, and it’s a good one, we offer it, then apologize for having expressed it. Too often, we succumb to the notion that people have to like us and if we go against the grain then we’re being difficult.

Or, we say sorry for asking a question. “Sorry, but I don’t understand.” Don’t be sorry. You don’t understand, and the only way to get clarification is to ask. Smart people ask questions; ignorant people assume.

The other day I got into a dispute with a person of the opposite sex. His tone was abrasive, and mine evenly matched his. So, why did I feel compelled to want to apologize to him five minutes after our discussion even though I was not in the wrong?It takes two to tango, and in this case we were both Patrick Swayze. Both of us were equally assertive, some might even say rude, but I felt that lingering guilt looming over my head because I wasn’t necessarily putting on the Southern charm.

Apologies are necessary sometimes, and what’s important is to learn when they’re needed and for women to begin to wean off using those two words during the times when they are not.(In the case of the image below, an apology is required. I suffer from being Hangry if I don’t eat at my required times. Kinda like a Gremlin).

I recently found this gem of a commercial. Take a look at Pantene’s version of women saying sorry way too much.

Pantene Sorry

Did you watch it? Come on, take a minute to watch it and then finish reading this blog entry.

The writers of this commercial hit the bull’s eye!

So, the question is, what can we as women do?For one, we can stop apologizing for every little thing. We can start by catching ourselves before we are going to apologize. We can take a stand and only say sorry when an apology is called for.

This is no small endeavor. Just today I caught myself saying sorry when I should not have. Now that I’m hyper aware, it’ll be interesting to see when I say it and when I don’t.And you can bet that I’m going to make darn sure that I don’t say those two words unless they’re absolutely necessary. It won’t be easy, but I’m sure as heck am going to try.